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When the election was called for Biden, I was at an outdoor restaurant in Boulder, Colorado.

I immediately burst into tears. Tears of relief. Of joy. Of the release of the tension of months of waiting, worrying, wondering, hoping, activist-ing, calling voters, writing voters, writing social media posts, doing all the things.


Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

I love it when a man leads.

Whether he’s leading by taking me on a creative date or bringing up an important conversation we need to have, I find it incredibly relaxing — not to mention sexy — when a man leads.

This is why, in my work as a sex and relationship coach, I spend a lot of time emphasizing to my male clients just how much women love to be led. (Just to be explicit, I work mostly with heterosexual clients, and primarily men who identify as straight).

Right now it can…


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I’m in my 30s with no preexisting conditions. I’m not really worried about succumbing to COVID-19 and not being OK.

My father is in his 70s and I’m somewhat concerned about him, but I do my best to stay in touch with him and ensure he’s being careful. Beyond that, there’s not much I can do there.

But that’s not my point here. My point is that I’m having trouble focusing on anything productive right now. I find it difficult to concentrate, and I’m not exactly sure what to do about that.

Maybe nothing.

Maybe everything.

I know I “should”…


Photo credit: Alexandru Zdrobau (Unsplash)

I met a guy the other day who I wasn’t sure I was interested in at first.

He was the friend of a friend, and the fact is, the first time we hung out I wasn’t trying to impress him. I was just me. In my sweats and a t-shirt. No makeup, no effort, no agenda.

I’ve seen him a few times because of this friend in common. I’ve dressed up a grand total of one of those times. The rest, I’ve just been myself, not really “trying.”

And you know what? I think he’s kind of interested.

This blows…


I can teach you how to love me.

If you take the time and truly want to know, I can teach you what each of my head tilts mean. I can teach you all the secrets of my body. I can teach you how to handle me when I’m moody, how to console me when I’m crying about my mother (versus my father), what to say when I act strange or distant around you.

If we get close enough for long enough, I can teach you about how to touch me where I am most sensitive, how to make my…


Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash

One of my friends is dating a man who said the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. When she relayed it to me, I immediately swooned.

It wasn’t, “I love you.”

It wasn’t, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with.”

It wasn’t, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It wasn’t a rom-com turn of phrase.

Instead, it was something that showed that he knows something vital about relationships. …


I broke up with him twice before it stuck.

The first time, I did it five days before my birthday. There’s never a good time, and I knew it wasn’t right, and I knew I should leave, so I did.

“Happy bday,” he texted me five days later. “Wanna go for a ride? I got a helmet for you.”

So on my birthday, I went for my first motorcycle ride with my non-boyfriend-boyfriend.

As we flew over the Golden Gate Bridge, my arms wrapped around his, the whole of the city behind us, the green of Marin ahead, the brilliance…


I’m a Millennial with the most Boomer of parents. My mother was at Woodstock and my father was drafted. I grew up listening to Bonnie Raitt and the Stones and Jefferson Airplane and Carly Simon.

So when I read this piece entitled Letter To The Millennials: A Boomer Professor Talks To His Students, I was very interested in what he had to say.

I appreciated much of it.

It also made me sad.

To me, the article fell into the same category as several I’ve seen, pieces that tend to enumerate all the things that are wrong in the world…

Melanie Curtin

Sex researcher with a master’s from Stanford. On a mission to help people have great sex and healthy relationships. Join my Big Sexy Data Set!

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